Freshers’ Week. That once in a lifetime moment when thousands of students of different personalities and backgrounds are merged to eat, sleep and party together.
Nervous sixth formers, now you’ve got those dreaded A-level results and are entering the world of adulting, we address this to you. Your very own handbook of the characters you WILL come across in your first couple of months.
The Sleeping Beauty
He/she reps the lazy student stereotype. You didn’t really believe these people existed before you came to Uni. Their main occupation is Netflix and pizza, washing is superficial to them, and bedtime is 5am. Their curtains are always closed, and they only ever emerge from their musty cave of a room in typical Onesie attire.
Ah the Instagram Model. This classic resident will have their eyes glued to their phone typin’ faster than you can say “Did you know I modelled for an Elite agency?”. Never in the flat and almost always at the super expensive restaurants you always wanted to go to, this resident will talk non-stop about their IG followers and how that designer you’ve never heard of has dropped the latest collection, which costs more than your monthly rent.
The ‘Gap Yah’ Student
This person will have spent majority of their year out travelling the world “volunteering” and trying to find themselves, usually in one or more of three areas: South America, Australia, or Asia. You’ll find them in your kitchen at 4am just making toasties because they’re still not used to the time difference (which they will tell you many, many times over the year).
A socially phobic, solitary individual. Will not venture from their room unless to go to Uni, the library or Tesco Express to stock up on pot noodles. That’s all you need to know about the Hermit, because chances are, you’ll only ever see them scurrying along the corridors.
Will sneakily slip club promotion flyers under your door at night, creeping down the corridors of your halls in fear of getting caught. Make the mistake of accepting their Facebook friend request, and prepare to be bombarded with event invitations, news feed-clogging statuses, and most disturbingly, personal messages that end in a desperate plea for you to join their club promotion team. Often wearing outlandish clubbing threads.
Now that you know who you’ll be dealin’ with, you’ll need to make sure you’ve got you uni ‘drobe checklist ticked off. Make sure you’re prepped with the latest from JD to keep ahead of the game.